Trip to Richmond

Last weekend we took a trip to Richmond to meet with LDS Family Services. Yes, we are starting the adoption process! We feel like this is the right path for our family at this time. We recieved a BIG packet of information and paperwork. We are excited! Lilly has finally stopped asking me, "When are you going to be pregnant again?" and now asks, "When are we going to adopt a baby?" I think she might be more baby hungry than I am!

After our 2 hour meeting we headed over to the Richmond Children's Museum. Lilly had a blast running around and exploring.

Lilly's favorite thing to do was pick apples from the big apple tree

While milking the fake cow, Lilly told me, "I already know how to milk goats. You just stick the sucking things on. Its lots easier than this." 

Building with her Dad

Going shopping

Lilly tried to stay in the craft room all day. She made about 10 crafts.

 We went outside for only a little while because it was over 100 degrees with high humidity. It was insane!

Water Mine

On Friday we took a trip to the Water Mine. It is a small water park about 20 minutes from our house.

It was a REALLY hot day, so Gus and Lilly lathered the sunscreen onto their very white bodies. I on the other hand did not. Which was a really bad idea.

Lilly loved going down all the slides. She has never been the least bit afraid of water, and it was the same with the big slide. They probably went down it about 25 times. She loved racing Gus down the double slide and Gus usually let her win.

After we were all exhausted, we packed up and went to the carousel next door. Lilly rode twice and when we told her it was time to go, she begged to just watch the next kids go around. She was mesmerized.

It was such a fun day!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I gave birth to two precious baby boys. We held them tight for three beautiful hours before they left this mortal life to return home. It was such a special day. But it was also horrible. I had my feet kicked out from underneath me. My dreams were dashed. I felt like my life was over.

I still have many of the same sad feelings that I felt in those early months. In fact, over the past year I've experienced so many different feelings. Sometimes those feelings were pretty, and sometimes they weren't - but that's life and I won't apologize for it. I won't apologize for feeling so mad when I became part of that small statistic of mothers to lose their babies at 19 weeks. I won't apologize for feeling so abandoned when I miscarried not only once, but twice after losing my boys - once at 8 weeks and once at 12 weeks. Each pregnancy had its own unique complication, and I'm tired of being that one-pregnant-woman-in-a-thousand to have "such-and-such" happen. It's very emotional and frustrating. Yet through it all, I'M STILL STANDING.

Heavenly Father has sent angels upon angels to comfort me. I would like to think some of those angels were family members who have passed on - but I know for certain a lot of those angels were YOU, my friends and family who have rallied around me and supported me. I just want to say, "Thanks."

I just keep telling myself that this is all part of Heavenly Father's Plan. Tough plan, albeit. But everything will be perfect in the end.

And when I am holding my baby boys again, everything will be perfect.