Pennsylvania Trip

Saturday morning we left for Pennsylvania. Our first stop was Intercourse, Pennsylvania. It was a beautiful place with lots of corn and Amish people.

We stopped at a Pretzel Factory. We learned how to make pretzels and we ate pretzels. We love pretzels!

Next we stopped at an Amish house that was selling homemade root beer.

They had this booth in their yard and a young girl was selling all these fun things. We decided on the root beer. Well, it was the wrong descision because it tasted like death. It was horrible root beer, but a fun experience.

I liked watching all the buggies go by with little families inside. I told Gus that I would like to live like the Amish. But just for a few day, to see what it was like.

There was a CAL Ranch type store with cars parked out front and horses and buggies parked on the side.

After a few hours up in Intercourse we drove to Lancaster.

We got a bite to eat and then drove to Dutch Wonderland. Lilly was all smiles when we walked through the princess castle gates.

This took us really high and the dropped us little by little. Lilly thought it was great fun, I did not.

This was the kid roller coaster. I thought it was pretty intense. When Lilly got off she said, "Now I want to ride the BIG roller coaster!" 

So we walked over to see if she was tall enough. You had to be at least 42" to ride. Well, Lilly was BARELY 42" and looks like she could be 5. So she rode this one:

She LOVED it. She smiled and laughed during the entire ride while I screamed! My little dare devil rode it another 5 times.

Then she spotted the games. She really wanted that giraffe.

And of course she won it!

This ride took you up and dropped you over and over. There was one mom on it that kept screaming. I guess it was intense. Lilly loved it.

At 8:30 the park closed and we left. As we were walking to car, Lilly turned to us and said, "I had such a fun time with you guys." It was so sweet. Gus and I had a wonderful time as well. The weather was great, the rides were fun, and Lilly didnt cry or whine one time. It was a trip to remember.

That night we drove  about 25 minutes to York where our hotel was. Lilly fell asleep on the way but quickly woke up when we walked into our hotel room. She had to check everything out.

The next morning we drove to Gettysburg. I had never been and wanted to see the sights. It was a pretty hot day so we only stayed a few hours. But we had a fun time.

At the Visitors Center

The Battlefield

The summer is going by fast and we have been doing a lot of this....

And this...

Trip to Richmond

Last weekend we took a trip to Richmond to meet with LDS Family Services. Yes, we are starting the adoption process! We feel like this is the right path for our family at this time. We recieved a BIG packet of information and paperwork. We are excited! Lilly has finally stopped asking me, "When are you going to be pregnant again?" and now asks, "When are we going to adopt a baby?" I think she might be more baby hungry than I am!

After our 2 hour meeting we headed over to the Richmond Children's Museum. Lilly had a blast running around and exploring.

Lilly's favorite thing to do was pick apples from the big apple tree

While milking the fake cow, Lilly told me, "I already know how to milk goats. You just stick the sucking things on. Its lots easier than this." 

Building with her Dad

Going shopping

Lilly tried to stay in the craft room all day. She made about 10 crafts.

 We went outside for only a little while because it was over 100 degrees with high humidity. It was insane!

Water Mine

On Friday we took a trip to the Water Mine. It is a small water park about 20 minutes from our house.

It was a REALLY hot day, so Gus and Lilly lathered the sunscreen onto their very white bodies. I on the other hand did not. Which was a really bad idea.

Lilly loved going down all the slides. She has never been the least bit afraid of water, and it was the same with the big slide. They probably went down it about 25 times. She loved racing Gus down the double slide and Gus usually let her win.

After we were all exhausted, we packed up and went to the carousel next door. Lilly rode twice and when we told her it was time to go, she begged to just watch the next kids go around. She was mesmerized.

It was such a fun day!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I gave birth to two precious baby boys. We held them tight for three beautiful hours before they left this mortal life to return home. It was such a special day. But it was also horrible. I had my feet kicked out from underneath me. My dreams were dashed. I felt like my life was over.

I still have many of the same sad feelings that I felt in those early months. In fact, over the past year I've experienced so many different feelings. Sometimes those feelings were pretty, and sometimes they weren't - but that's life and I won't apologize for it. I won't apologize for feeling so mad when I became part of that small statistic of mothers to lose their babies at 19 weeks. I won't apologize for feeling so abandoned when I miscarried not only once, but twice after losing my boys - once at 8 weeks and once at 12 weeks. Each pregnancy had its own unique complication, and I'm tired of being that one-pregnant-woman-in-a-thousand to have "such-and-such" happen. It's very emotional and frustrating. Yet through it all, I'M STILL STANDING.

Heavenly Father has sent angels upon angels to comfort me. I would like to think some of those angels were family members who have passed on - but I know for certain a lot of those angels were YOU, my friends and family who have rallied around me and supported me. I just want to say, "Thanks."

I just keep telling myself that this is all part of Heavenly Father's Plan. Tough plan, albeit. But everything will be perfect in the end.

And when I am holding my baby boys again, everything will be perfect.

Bike Riding and Breastfeeding

On Monday for Family Home Evening we bought Lilly a bike. She has been wanting one forever and talking about her friend Sadie's bike for weeks, maybe even months. Toys R Us had the one we wanted and since it was on sale we went for it. When we got to the store we found out that the 12" was WAY too small and the 14" was almost too small. So we went with a 16". She looks so grown up when she rides it.

When we got it home Gus had to put it together. He wasn't about to pay another $10 to have it assembled at the store. I was a little nervous, but it turned out to be pretty easy to put-together.

After it was assembled we took it outside for a test run. Lilly caught on quickly and now can peddle and stop like a pro.

Today, Lilly went to her friend Jonas's birthday party. It was a superhero party and everyone received capes in their favorite colors. They were the cutest things ever! When we got home I caught Lilly watching a movie like this....

When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Just breastfeeding my baby." What?! She has never seen ME do this! She must have seen women in our ward nursing their babies like this. So, now her new superhero cape is a nursing cover.

What A Delightful Child

Lilly has become such a delightful child. Not that she wasn't before, but she is getting so much easier as she gets older. She is also getting funnier. Here are some of the cute and funny things she has said and done over the last month or so:

I was quietly sitting on the couch reading a book and Lilly came up to me and put her little arms around my neck and said, "Mom, thanks so much for taking care of me." It melted my heart. It was so cute and so out of the blue. I told her she didn't need to get me a Mother's Day present now.

Lilly and I were in the car when we drove past the hospital. She remembered that it was the hospital where I had delivered her brothers. So of course we started talking about death and how they were living with Heavenly Father. I told her that when we die we will get to see them again. Lilly was a little stressed and said, "But mom, I don't want to die!" So I told her that she probably wouldn't die for a very long time, not until she is really old and had a really long happy life. She responded, "But I don't want to get old, I want to just stay new forever!"

I watched my friend's 9 month old little baby one afternoon and Lilly helped me so much by entertaining the infant for hours. She was seriously such a great helper! After the baby went home, me and Lilly started talking about how she was going to be such a great helper when I someday have another baby. She was telling me how it was going to be her job to change the baby's stinky diapers, feed the baby, put the baby to sleep, and play with the baby. I told her that those could definitely be her jobs. Then Lilly said, "Mom, its a really good thing you have me."

One day Aunt MJ came over to hang out with Lilly. MJ took her to Wendy's and bought her a happy meal and then they came home and had a dance party. After MJ left, Lilly laid down on the couch and said,
"Mom, MJ is just divine."

I caught Lilly hopping around with bunny ears on her head and depositing Easter eggs around the house. I said "Oh, are you the Easter Bunny?" Lilly replied, "No, I'm the Easter Bunny's wife."

Gus and I had to get our blood taken one day. I got my blood taken with no issues. Gus passed out (this deserves its own post - I'm still laughing about it). Lilly watched eagerly while our blood was drawn, and then sobbed on the way home because she wanted her blood taken too. So she did the next best thing and came home and stuck tacks in her baby and pretended to take her blood. She now has a fetish for needles and tells me daily that she is going to be a nurse when she grows up.

Lilly used to hate talking on the phone. Now she loves it, only if she can go to her bedroom and talk in private. Occasionally I will go in and listen because I want to hear the conversation she is having. Whenever I do, she always mouths "GO OUT!"

Lilly loves her friend Sadie's little brother Jack. One day she was going on and on about how cute Jack is and how she wished he lived with us. Then she said, "Mom, we should just go buy one". Oh, if it were only that easy!

Gus, Lilly, and I were in the car discussing Mother's Day and how it is a day to celebrate our moms. We also told Lilly that next month we will have Father's Day. Lilly thought about that for a moment and said, "Wait, so when is Lilly's Day?"

The last couple of weeks Lills and I have been driving Gus to the Metro at 6:30 in the morning. We usually have to wake Lilly up. One morning after we woke her up she layed on the floor and said, "Man, I dont think I got enough sleep last night". After we drop Gus off, Lilly always yells, "Adios Daddy!"